Well hells bells...Lymes Disease can cause depression/anxiety.

"A recent European study shows that psychiatric in-patients are nearly twice as likely as the average population to test positive for Lyme, and the National Institutes of Health are currently sponsoring a major study of neuropsychiatric Lyme disease in an effort to illuminate specific changes in the brain."

In an effort to heal and recover(so hard to force myself into this 'want to heal' mindset in the midst of the crippling depression..but something inside of me still wants to fight and persevere...thank god) I made a docotor's appointment for my first "adult physical".

Therapy, lexpro, EFT was helping, but I'd still spiral off into these uncontrollable bouts of anxiety, panic and despair.  Even with all my proactive steps towards recovery, something still felt off.

So, off to the doctor I went.  After describing my symptoms:

1.    Bite on my leg that has not healed - FEB 20TH, 2010 (retreat in the woods)
2.    The Flu/Bronchitis--- March 2010
3.    Sinus infection—April 2010
4.    Swollen/sore throat with sleep apnea--April 2010
5.    Knee pain & swelling—May 2010-present
6.    Tingling-Electrical impulse feelings in both legs--- May 2010-present
7.    Depression/anxiety/1st panic attack--- June 2010-present
8.    Cloudiness/brain fog/disconnected feeling- --July 2010-Feb 2011
9.    Night sweats---July 2010-present
10.    Numbness in last two fingers on both hands---September 2010-present
11.    Hypnic Jerks-Sleep disturbances (Wakes up with severe twitch some nights many times, Racing Heart, Shortness of Breath) October 2010-present
12.    Ringing in ears---Jan 2011-present
13.    Blurred vision--- February 2011-present
14.    Difficulty with Speech –--Jan 2011-present
15.    Memory Difficulties---December 2010-present
16.    Fatigue--November 2010-present

She did a blood test on a variety of things, including testing my thyroid and testing for Lymes Disease.  Sure enough, I have Lymes Disease.  I feel like a "HOUSE" episode.  I have started educating myself on this intricate illness and have learned that, indeed, it can cause, exacerbate or mimic psychological/mental illness.  

I am not saying that this has been the cause of my depression, but has definitely made it waaaaay worse in the last year.  I still have alot of psychological issues to work through, but just knowing that disease is a major factor in my current 'state of mind' brings me comfort and a little peace.  So, I am thankful for just knowing and understanding.  

In my quest for knowledge of Lymes, I have learned that many many people are misdiagnosed with a mental illness, when in fact, it is actually Lymes Disease.  SO, my advice for ANYONE struggling with anxiety or depression.. is GET TESTED FOR LYMES.  It is a simple blood test.  

Below are some helpful websites/links/short quotes on the Neurological and Psychological effects of Lymes Disease:

"Neuropsychiatric: mood swings, violent outbursts, irritability, depression, disturbed sleep (too much, too little, early awakening), personality changes, obsessivedisorder, paranoia, panic anxiety attack, hallucinations. " --http://www.lymediseaseassociation.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=276&Itemid=29

**"Dysfunction of other specific pathways may more directly cause depression. ...The link between encephalopathy and depression has been more thoroughly studied in other illnesses, such as stroke. The neura1 injury from a stroke causes neural dysfunction that causes depression. Injury to specific brain regions has different statisti­cal correlation with the development of depression. Once depression or other psychiatric syndromes occur with Lyme disease, treating them effectively improves other Lyme disease symptoms as well and prevents the development of more severe conse­quences, such as suicide." --http://www.mentalhealthandillness.com/Articles/LymeDepressionAndSuicide.htm

**"At one point I asked my mother to commit me because I had no control over my actions. To this day I don’t know if it was depression or it was from Lyme disease (because it can hide in soft tissue in the brain, literally making one crazy.)I cannot even verbalize the depression, anxiety and anger ...I had during this time in my life. " http://www.beatlymedisease.com/

**"A recent European study shows that psychiatric in-patients are nearly twice as likely as the average population to test positive for Lyme, and the National Institutes of Health are currently sponsoring a major study of neuropsychiatric Lyme disease in an effort to illuminate specific changes in the brain. Psychiatric Lyme has been linked with virtually every psychiatric diagnosis and can affect people of all ages and from every walk of life. A former honor roll student is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder and pegged as a “problem kid” because he can’t sit still in class. A lawyer has to close her practice because she can’t concentrate and suffers from anxiety attacks. A young mother is so sensitive to noise that she can no longer tolerate her baby’s cry and is afraid that she will harm her child. A retired salesman develops a compulsive habit of writing all over everything—he covers everything from the tablecloth to matchbooks with meaningless scribbles."    http://www.igenex.com/psychological_effects.htm

I have been on the antibiotics for about 12 days now and can definitely feel a difference.  Less cloudy/foggy, more grounded, not scared, knee pain lessening, sleeping better, less agitated.

Feeling more like the 'old (happy, dorky, creative, curious, analytical, stylin) me' again.   Not quite there... but on the right path.