One of the hardest things about depression/anxiety is being open/honest about it. Seriously think about it... all those of you who aren't depressed.. the last thing you want to do is listen to someone about how they think life isn't worth living, how the things that once made them happy just don't inspire them anymore, how they have no energy, how the meds aren't working, etc. Most healthy-minded people's responses vary from, "cheer up", "you're so blessed and lucky, how can you be depressed", "just smile", "you'll be fine", "well don't take those anti-depressants, cause they'll make you crazy", "snap out of it". And the people who have 'major depression disorder' realize that healthy peeps just don't want to hear about it or don't understand that it is not just a state of mind, it's an ILLNESS. When I was feeling guilty about having depression, my therapist said "Would you feel guilty about having cancer?" hmmmm.....
Depression can be situational or chemical or genetic(or brought on by lymes disease!) . It can start out as situational which can trigger the chemical. It's such a complex, confusing, frustrating, shitty-ass illness that is emabarrassing and humiliating to admit to... or to talk about. BUT, being OPEN about it(to loved ones who will support you) actually helps it hurt less. In a weird way, I am thankful for my lymes disease.. because it made the depression so very very bad & darkly debilitating, that I finally sought help. Help from my therapist, from a psychiatrist, help from my friends, help from my family. I'm not saying go shout from the rooftops about your depression, but selectively telling close(supportive, open-minded) friends and family really does help. And it's soooo hard to do, because depression creates this aura of depersonalization and separation... but sharing and opening up is vital for healing(no that I'm quite there yet). Plus, the more you open up, the more you realize you're not alone in this hell. So many people suffer from anxiety/depression...including FAMILY MEMBERS! Until I was open about my situation, I never knew how many people in my family suffered from this as well.. which explains alot about my situation (genentics). HOWEVER, it shouldn't matter WHY...not all people know WHY... and that is something I'm struggling with now.. letting go of the "why" and just accepting the reality.
I am lucky and blessed to have my parents, my husband, family and friends by my side during this intolerable & hellish time. Now it is time to find the strength within myself. Maybe it's god, maybe it's me.. maybe it's my "heart-room"(the place my mom would tell the kids that she was teaching sunday school to-- when they were scared, uncomfortable, sad or unsure...as my mom puts it..'where you can be with jesus'.. to go to).. but it's time to call on that strength. The strength I NEVER would have found...or sought after.. without talking to my family/close friends about this.
This(being open) doesn't come easy for me.. well... not with these issues anyway. But, I know I feel better...feel a release when I do so.
Depression can be situational or chemical or genetic(or brought on by lymes disease!) . It can start out as situational which can trigger the chemical. It's such a complex, confusing, frustrating, shitty-ass illness that is emabarrassing and humiliating to admit to... or to talk about. BUT, being OPEN about it(to loved ones who will support you) actually helps it hurt less. In a weird way, I am thankful for my lymes disease.. because it made the depression so very very bad & darkly debilitating, that I finally sought help. Help from my therapist, from a psychiatrist, help from my friends, help from my family. I'm not saying go shout from the rooftops about your depression, but selectively telling close(supportive, open-minded) friends and family really does help. And it's soooo hard to do, because depression creates this aura of depersonalization and separation... but sharing and opening up is vital for healing(no that I'm quite there yet). Plus, the more you open up, the more you realize you're not alone in this hell. So many people suffer from anxiety/depression...including FAMILY MEMBERS! Until I was open about my situation, I never knew how many people in my family suffered from this as well.. which explains alot about my situation (genentics). HOWEVER, it shouldn't matter WHY...not all people know WHY... and that is something I'm struggling with now.. letting go of the "why" and just accepting the reality.
I am lucky and blessed to have my parents, my husband, family and friends by my side during this intolerable & hellish time. Now it is time to find the strength within myself. Maybe it's god, maybe it's me.. maybe it's my "heart-room"(the place my mom would tell the kids that she was teaching sunday school to-- when they were scared, uncomfortable, sad or unsure...as my mom puts it..'where you can be with jesus'.. to go to).. but it's time to call on that strength. The strength I NEVER would have found...or sought after.. without talking to my family/close friends about this.
This(being open) doesn't come easy for me.. well... not with these issues anyway. But, I know I feel better...feel a release when I do so.
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